self-harm talk w therapist n friends

#T #arthur #pblmate #charlottec #mum

In master bedroom of old home Mum wanted to drag me out of bed to have lunch Me hugging blanket and didn’t want to Leg was a bit painful and itchy from her pull and poking I finally used my foot and pushed her out of room and locked the door I checked my legs and were full of red tiny scratches I sat by the window and looked down (just look, no suicidal ideation) I phoned the office and chatted with Ming

I got down and met up with Alex and Monica where we go for a walk, and we also met Ming We walked tgt and they chatted with me Monica shows me her healing/ healed scars on her forearm and I took a close look. _{(I suspect this triggered me and I was in a terrible mood for the whole day and relapsed)}

When we were returning and after crossing a street we found a little pop up booth distributing candies by the brand of Orange. We got our packs of candies and I started eating. (Actually the candies looked like pills and I feel like as if I am overdosing.) Arthur walked to the booth as well in an orange tshirt, I laughed at him for the orange tshirt but I didn’t tell him it was because he looked like a mannings employee. He was chill and just shrugged lol.

Walking back I received messages in a WhatsApp group chat of me, Charlotte C and Monica. Monica wanted to self harm. So I shared some reasons of why I didn’t want to and methods I used when the urges come, hopefully she can try them out or develop more of her own.

me as babyish newbie at office

Wore pajamas and carrying piles of stuff in a very clunky manner to my new seat. Everyone was wearing suits and working elegantly in this gigantic office, almost the size of one floor of shopping mall.

I was moving my stuff and saw a vibrator on the floor, it was mine but I didn’t dare to pick it up or else they know it would be mine. I felt awkward walking by in my pink pajamas and seeing that pink vibrator bc it made it obvious that it’s mine

Anyways after moving my piles of machines..?? I went back to the spot and the vibrator disappeared. Later people were gossipping about the mysterious vibrator, who brought their vibrator to work and who was so horny. Alex also brought up this topic to me and I told him it was actually mine lmao.

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scolding prof hui

(dec3) #pblmate #uni

I was in a classroom in my high school. Prof Hui was my classmistress, teaching English. Our class didn't want to have the class and do her homework that she was going to assign. Then Matthew (wardgroup) sitting at the leftmost of the classroom 2 rows from the front, suddenly raised his hand and told Hui that we were all sick from the PE lesson just now, and we needed to go to the UHS. Suddenly we all acted like we were having a fever, and classmates were hiding their schoolshoes and put their sports shoes under their desk to make it look extra convincing that we just finished changing after PE lesson.

Prof Hui walked around the classroom cautiously and looked under our desks slowly. Some classmates nearby also helped me with the sports shoes and arranging stuff. Prof Hui walked and saw a person wearing normal schoolshoes. We were all very tensed but as we look up, the classmate was wearing full school uniform, and we all relaxed as it was very reasonable for students to exclude themselves from PE lessons/ didn't bring any PE uniform.

Around my desk, my shoes were kind of messy since we were half-organised. Prof Hui saw the little mess of the shoes along the aisle and I tried to laugh it off, which she accepted.

When she was almost done with the inspection, as we thought she would let us take a break, suddenly a random classmate raised her hand and said we were just joking and we weren't actually sick, it was just to play with Hui and amuse her.

I was thinking like, what the fuck !!! We were so close to the goal and you spoiled it !!!

oh and in one part of the dream I stood up from my seat and pointed at Hui and scolded her for a long time with anger lmao, I think I covered a lot of points in the dream, such as she being a waste of time on unnecessary minute things, taking attendance as if we were still primary school/ high school kids, how entitled and arrogant and fragile she was to force everyone including patients to name her as Professor Hui, not just doctor etc., shouldn't happen when she was already past menopause (it seems to me).

_{(I think this was a very realistic dream 1. Matt likes to skip class and get his sick leave at UHS, 2. our group in general likes to skip class + dislike this weird prof 3. dec 1 our autistic groupmate was doing a roleplay pt hx presentation and when the doctor raised questions about a discrepancy between her hx and another person's, she raised her hand and said loudly, “I LIED, I MADE IT ALL UP, I FORGOT WHAT THE PATIENT SAID.” (I can only capture her energy in full caps) (i mean like aaaahh you could've worded it in a much tactful way esp when specifically at that scenario you can actually play it off and smooth over it) and then she got a serious after-class talk and concerns for fitness to practice uhh// and i think she learnt the wrong idea from me when i told the prof i was late because i overslept and i actually got a compliment that I was being honest. uhhhhhhaaaaaa – ngl i feel pretty bad for her shes an interesting person and i think she is actually not too bad- other than occasional things like this- oh and another occasion when she wouldn't use another word to replace “your death is near” when we were learning palliative care in cancer although we gave her alternatives bc she didn't understand the difference...... i used to think autism is not a disability especially when everyone was saying it is “neurodivergence” vs “neurotypical”, but honestly idk now In situations like this, is this considered a “disability” in detecting the appropriacy of the scenario and finding more tactful solutions? In other social situations when one turn away from group lunches to eat their fixed meal choice from a specific restaurant alone, are we crowning everything as a “disability” from a neurotypical standpoint and thinking everything “inappropriate” to us is a “disability”? But it kinda is at the same time? Nevertheless, there are many hurdles for them to overcome in a generally neurotypical world. damn so many things to ponder on just from one dream}

_{man i forgot about the rest, i shouldn't have procrastinated writing them down}

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escape from catch

I was finally kinda free from the escape from idk perhaps a military group. And I was sitting by a field me and other fellow escapees have been managing and planting. The field was a popcorn field. We were sitting under the shadows under the trees, enjoying the view, and plucking some giant popcorns to eat. They were sweet. The escapee to the right of me had the special talent of sensitive hearing and he was our sentinel. He was of short stature, and was wearing a helmet and a pair of construction earphones (to muffle the sounds?). He still looked very paranoid and panicked and pointed every time a distant plane flew in the blue sky. He told us to be silent every time that happened. I didn't really understand why he was being so scared but it made me a bit scared too nevertheless.

The first few planes were just civilian aircrafts, and he was super scared but they all flew past with nothing happening. I told him to be less tensed. He then looked away for a bit when I noticed a weird shaped plane. It was literally a giant turbine/ engine flying with an odd trail on the sky. I pointed at the turbine plane and asked the short guy what was that. The turbine took a turn and seemingly heading to our popcorn field. I urged the short guy to look up and he saw but it was almost too late, as the turbine thingy was pretty fast and was about to land on our field.

I yelled to everyone to run for their lives as I knew this was certainly headed for us. Instantly, our crowd ran out from under the trees and into the buildings nearby.

Me and the short guy were the closest to the turbine and furthest from the buildings, but we also tried to run towards it. I had a hinge that the security guard who was undercover for the military would be waiting there to catch all of us. But I ignored my sixth sense, thinking it didn't work every time, so I continued running along with others.

As soon as I took a turn into the aisles of the buildings, I looked to the left and saw the guard just standing there looking at all the crowd entering the stairs of the buildings. The building was a trap! But it was too late to tell them while me and a few others watched them walking up.

Me and the few went back to the trees area and took another turn into other aisles of the buildings. I decided to run to the left but the others said they would choose the right. We didn't compromise with each other and we ran our own ways.

_{After waking up I thought I was like Aki from CSM with the ability of seeing a few seconds into the future. But this time I didn't listen to it.}

Ocean Park Halloween

#pblmate #secschool

I was wandering on the streets in Tsim Sha Tsui at night, waiting for the time when we gathered for the halloween event in Ocean Park. I walked a little bit and arrived at the street beneath my old home. I met with Brian by the gate of my estate and we entered together, as it was now the entrance of the Ocean Park event. It was a bit dark while we followed the route into the indoor area with a narrower corridor and carpet underneath. Then we arrived at two mini elevators. Turned out they were single person elevators. It was pretty narrow and can only fit one person inside. Brian entered first and went down. The elevator was actually super fast, as if you are free-falling straight down. I looked down to the hollow space as his lift went down, and it seemed bottomless. I was scared to take my own elevator.

At this moment, a group of people walked by to a new path on my right. One of them was Nicole Chan. I raised my voice and said hi to her. She looked back and called me, and invited me to go with them together cheerfully. Turned out there was a group elevator and we were going together. I thought it would be better to do it together, and she was encouraging me with such passion, so I went along.

We entered and it was a free fall down. I was nervous but everyone else was thrilled. I wondered perhaps this was the feeling of jumping off a building.

Then, they started chanting together, landing in 10... 9.. (counting down), and Nicole was teaching me how to brace for impact. I didn't hear clearly if I should lock my ankles or not, and what posture I should take for my lower body. After the countdown, they realised it was not the bottom of the pit yet. So they chanted again, and I got braver and opened my eyes wider to look around me and even below me to guess the time for impact. So with my vision, I panicked less and embraced the impact. The hit was a bit painful but in my expectation. Though the people on top hitting us made my arm a bit sore, but we got out of the elevator unscathed, and we entered the grand underground lobby of Ocean Park.

I walked around to search for familiar faces and Brian who went down before me. I saw a lot of high school classmates and eventually I saw him along with a few others from my ward group (I think there was Heather).

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swimming class, recalling meeting about JY

#jy I put things in locker before swimming class, kind of disgusting because the locker on top of mine was dirty and has unknown liquid like pee, surrounding lockers were dirty too. But the cabinet I chose was the only vacant one so I needed to use it. Saw a small cockroach walking closer to me, it was super gross _{(Maybe it was because I was riding the MTR yesterday and I found 2 seats with unknown liquid like pee, 2 seats with period blood, and 1 whole row with giant poop smear. And I took a seat nearby which appeared clean)}

When I was heading for the swimming class with my uni classmates I recalled I met Julie regarding that incident, and I was rather annoyed when she said JY explained maybe it's his phone, cuz I really don't think phones are sausage shaped. But it wasn't that bothering me because this response was kind of expected and I don't want to deal more with it. But I thought I could question that back then instead of just nodding my head to Julie _{(yea I met with her two days ago)} And then we started the swimming lesson

weird toilet; furious to family, dragging snooker table around

#mum #dad The swimming pool toilet was slightly weird. The compartment was big and L-shaped, but the bidet was near the door instead of within the L shape. And when I close the door, there was still a gap, and students outside can see if I was sitting peeing. So I used my body towel to block away the gap.

Later I met with mum and dad. I think we had an argument, as I was yelling so much in the dream. We were at downstairs of our home, and I was too angry and kind of wanted to escape (?), and had loads of power so I was pushing a giant snooker table everywhere, from home to downstairs, to basement and back up, back and forth _{(hmm my roommate got a bf after going to the bar and pool with him, just 4 days from knowing each other, interesting)}

Psychologist meeting, Arthur shares my dreams, 絵馬 nametag

#arthur #secschool #PBLmate #Joseph They're organising a public meeting in Arthur's room (slightly bigger) with psychologists from various places (like 6-8 people), and took rounds to share? A few of my friends were there too (Ruby and Joseph) And then it was Arthur's turn, he went to the table with his desktop and opened this website. He mentioned a dream about me making stickers from what I drew/ random cute stuff like kaomojis I chuckled and was a bit embarrassed, although no one else knew the dream was mine He actually printed the stickers out for us to pass it down to take a look at And he seemed to be thinking about how to interpret the dream. Since in the dream I knew I dreamt that because Ruby liked to make handmade stickers, so I walked to Arthur's back to tell him about it and no need for him to overinterpret _{(Ruby doesn't make stickers irl)}

As they were passing down the sheets of stickers, Joseph took a medium sized sticker. It looked like a design about the secret garden and the rabbit from Alice in the wonderland, very cottage vibes and felt vintage. I was slightly surprised when Joseph took it, as it was just “sample stickers” Arthur passed down that I thought was for viewing only. But then I thought it was a good idea as stickers were meant to be used and we could always print more if we needed. So I encouraged others to take them as well if they wished to.

When Arthur started talking, I looked at his front and saw he had a nametag on a lanyard. I was very curious of the tag so I stared at it. He kind of didn't want me to look at it/ focus too much on it though, so he tried to turn away but I grabbed the tag firmly, I think I kinda pulled on the lanyard so it made him kinda uncomfortable. :P Actually the nametag is an 絵馬 (both shape and size and also wooden) (kinda big), on which was a project sekai card of 4 girls _{(I think it's the character card my friend got and posted on her ig story like a week ago, not sure)}

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late for gathering late for lecture

#secschool #PBLmate #uni

So at the first part of the dream it was so funny that I chuckled out loud while sleeping, and woke myself up for half a second. But I forgot why...!!

In the later part of the dream I was late for a meal gathering with school friends. My secondary school classmates ate some snacks on the road while waiting for me. And when I arrived, it was time for them to leave. Jamie, Ashley and a few others were walking down a stopped escalator. I tried to step on it but instead, I moved the standing conveyor belt so my classmates almost tumbled down the escalator. They were jokingly asking if that was deliberate, but I really didn't mean to, so I felt a bit sad, but I laughed with them, and I slid down on the handrail.

Later I collected their trash (like food wrappings), and I went to take a lift to go down to the food court so that I can discard it.

Carrie (another primary/ secondary school classmate) was going to take the lift with me. The lift was very narrow and very... squashed. Carrie entered first. She “rolled” inside the lift, and there was still space for me to enter. So I roll inside as well. As we were descending, I grabbed my dress and any flying parts that might get stuck in the edges of the lift, as the lift is like a basket and there were no complete walls to protect us. It was quite scary honestly, but Carrie seemed to be used to it. And I felt a bit more reassuring when she's accompanying me.

I kind of not remember what happened next but anyways we got to the basement food court safely and stuff

oh and I went to eat with our PBL group in a relatively busy but okay-ish restaurant in the food court.

oh yeah the heading, so basically i was late for that meal as well, and later I was also late for lecture. And I was also writing an assignment essay in the dream, idk for which lecture though. But anyways I was pretty busy in the dream but I kind of liked how I am being productive. I was kinda upset on how I was late to everything though.

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tomboy tutor toying with me, udon meal w PBL

#pblmate #ivan #aiden

I was having a session with a tutor in a large activity floor and in his own tiny office room. He's arranging minecraft blocks on his desktop pc and I can rearrange them according to my liking. I wasn't sure if it was a computer/ coding tutorial or those 沙盤 therapy where you organise stuff and search for an interpretation.

This tutor was pretty nice. He looked like that kind of tomboyish guy with thick black framed glasses, not exactly tall but taller than me.

In the office room, during mid session the desktop froze and malfunctioned. I sensed that he wanted to end the session and call it a day, but I didn't want, so I asked if he had physical blocks that he can make me arrange (cuz I saw there was a toy box next to me). So he slightly unwillingly arranged it for me.

Also the desktop was trying to undo stuff and I was kinda pissed, I was looking at the name at who's undoing our steps and it briefly showed Adrian (3-day-boy)'s name. I looked across the floor (idk why it made sense and the setting changed from tutor's office room to activity floor briefly), and saw Adrian and his tutor at the very edge of the room. I'm going to ask him about it and yell at him about it later.

Back in the office room. After the physical blocks were ready and while I was arranging the blocks, the tutor took out a fully white rubik's cube and put the corner close to my bottom. (I think I didn't wear much during his tutoring session, maybe shorts??) The rubik's cube seemed to be slightly vibrating. I felt very good and became super horny (I was already a bit horny before because the tutor was cute). I was also moaning at him. :DD

But he removed it rather briefly. As if he was teasing me. I looked at the cube on his hand and tell him I want more, more! But he didn't.

Later he made an excuse for a bathroom break. I suspected he was going to jerk off secretly, so although I should be staying in his office room, I irresistibly crawled to the bathroom to peek at him.

The bathroom walls were all glass. There were two bathtubs. He was in the right bigger bathtub, naked. There was also a naked girl (I think) in the same bathtub with him.

I was trying to look for his dick when I entered the bathroom. I said hi and I went to the left mini bathtub. I couldn't really see his dick though, it was more like an erected clitoris.

I asked him to fuck me, but instead, he raised two fingers at me and he began to masturbate for himself. Me, despite being confused why he can also do that as a male, followed him and masturbated myself.

Later he's about to leave the bathroom, and I finally realised he was actually a girl. So I exclaimed, you're a girl?? She looked somewhat unimpressed but chill and kind of nodded her head, and I said but your colleagues all think you're a male, and she mumbled something like it doesn't really matter

I crawled back to his office room and asked her to massage me with her hand but she didn't. And she used the rubik's cube to tease me again, and I moaned louder.

Later I went to the shopping mall nearby, and saw our year 1 PBL squad by an udon restaurant. They were getting their food to eat together at the nearby tables (like a food court) later. So I also ordered a raw egg udon. Which looked very nice. I followed them to walk up the stairs to the second floor of food court. I took a left turn to search for them, when Ophelia waved at me and signalled me they were all on the right. So we laughed and I got to their table. They found my udon looking very tasty too. (I haven't asked Adrian why he's sabotaging our effort and undoing stuff)

dream sort of ended here fffaaack horny (slightly) i still think the daisuki dream and the dog collar dream were the best, the 520 dream also pretty damn tasty mmmmmmmmmmm

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pokemon party w friends; ummm Arthur’s affair *cough *

#arthur #PBLmate

At first I was heading to an office room to take something/ meet with someone

But later me and my pbl mates (and arthur) were watching a pokemon movie. Arthur was on my right. We were all on a bed / people further away from me were on big individual sofas, chilling. During the whole dream I really wanted to pee (because I fell asleep before going to the toilet irl) But I was right next to Arthur.. I was a bit worried if my spot next to Arthur would get taken if I went to toilet and return afterwards. So I stayed in bed. I began to burrow into his shoulder for more closeness. He didn’t flinch as I think we were both kind accustomed to being this close to each other. (in the dream) I was burrowing into his neck again when he received a phone call. It was from his wife. He’s updating his wife that everything’s fine and the party’s still going on and not ending anytime soon. When he’s on the phone I was sticking my face to his, and I could hear what the opposite side was talking. (Umm but now it felt like a call from his friend instead), she’s saying how his SCM was well trained and looking very smexy. I thought they’re talking about levator scapulae so I was touching that instead. Arthur signalled and whispered to me, it’s this one, while loosening the collar to expose his neck more to point at it and let me touch it.

As I was touching it, Arthur looked a bit flustered but tried to hold back and speak normally on his call. I found it fun so I tried to whine a bit by his ear. After like two to three sentences he ended the call. We were cuddling each other again. I feel so blessed and in love. The tension was growing stronger, but so was my urge to pee. We gazed at each other and the vibe was getting more and more intimate. Then I thought maybe this would be enough for me to keep my spot when I return from toilet, so I got up and left to pee.

I peed quickly and got back to my spot. Nobody has taken up my spot when I was away. I felt relieved and happy.

After the pokemon movie had ended, all of us were walking to the mtr station. We were sitting on the seats on the concourse to wait for the train. I was sitting next to Arthur on my right again, and another PBL mate (male) on my left. We were all wearing shorts. I held hands with Arthur firmly. I invited him to touch my thighs lol.

_{Yayayayayayayayayy (there’s another dream but I forgot after writing all this! This one feels pretty good so yeeahah it’s fine if I forgot the other one i guess)}

_{probably dreamt it because I had a crush on Rika aka チリ in pokemon horizons and I binge watched like 30 episodes yesterday aaaaaaawoooogaaaa}

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“broken static screen”

Turned out I didn’t connect my laptop to power After connecting it my external screen static was gone and it was fixed perfectly Mum kinda laughed at me, we laughed together

fried pork bento for Adrian

#mum #dad #uni Travels I got a bento for Adrian But he’s pretty quick in walking back to his dorm So I had to walk quickly to chase but he’s just too quick (he didn’t know I had gotten a bento for him though) Mum and dad were following me to ask me what I was doing I haven’t gave him his bento yet

Travelling w friends/ classmates, chocolatier

#Ivan #PBLmate Sharon A. Y., Ernest, Matthew #cecilia ’s grandma (cut croissant) #caitlyn

Friends travelling together I was a bit hungry while Caitlyn couldn’t finish her meal (chocolate drink), so I finished it up. When we were leaving The serving/ return tray counter, gave me a free set of milk+ chocolate croissant set, as she apologise for “Poor chocolate made”

Other than this set I got two more croissants too. C’s grandma came and seemingly wanted to eat. Me, thinking I couldn’t finish them all anyways, welcomed her and she immediately started cutting croissants as if they were all hers. I was slight slightly surprised but didn’t mind. The grandma cut them very quuckly and well, and I recalled they operate a bakery shop (in the dream). She cut the two horns, and then cut the middle, to show me what fillings were inside. One is a very rich dense chocolate, another has cream inside. Another one feels like matcha. I shared the croissants with her.

I saw the receipt also said I was full year free customer as well.

Anyways they look delicious

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Murder

There was a kid (twins), whose family owned a ship. One of them invited a friend to come. The friend secretly climbed and on board the ship at night without them knowing, before the actual invitation day. He got on in a place with security mechanisms. A robot chopped off his head. Then there was an automatic dispenser system on the ship, where they release the kid’s body along with a lot of fish snacks and lure in order to facilitate the body being broken down and eaten by fishes, so that the body would be gone. Actually the security system was for assassinating the other twin, with a seemingly valid reason of him being sneaky and thought he would be an intruder instead and auto killed sus people.

classmate became eng teacher

#secschool #pblmate Setting is like on an aircraft, I’m on the middle columns. Watching Pokemon Horizons on iPad, and started to play static noises instead. I realised it was a bit too loud as I was using the speaker, so I turned it down to not affect others. I was a bit embarrassed because I wasn’t aware of that when I was watching the show.

Later the teacher came for class. It was actually Serene, teaching English. Meanwhile our classmates and I were actually in the same year as her (still secondary school in dream) but she’s already employed by the school. I was like wow how come Anyways we started checking and marking our worksheets (marked but we needed to listen for the correct answer for questions we got wrong)

Also the setting/ room slowly got warped into a high school classroom.

I was on a single table, vs others with two tables together. The classmate in front of me was also on a single table. I saw her moving her table backwards a little bit, so I wanted to move my table with her. But as I was moving to the front, she moved the table a bit sideways to join a double table. I was slightly shocked and ngl a little bit sad, lol And then Audrey came and sit on my another side. We chatted and I kind of did a show and tell with my pencil case. It was cute and in pastel green (hmm not gonna buy this colour irl probably). Yay! We were checking a section of the worksheet which I left it blank. I recalled it was actually because I got to school late, so I missed it, but it was fine. I wasn’t too bothered by it. The classmate who moved away joined us. So now we are sitting in a triple manner. Yay!

Later Serene started to chit chat with the class instead of teaching new stuff. She asked if any of us have part time jobs. Around 6 out of 35? Students raised their hands. She went around and asked everyone. Emma and her friend were tutoring Spanish, interesting.

Narita airport harbour view

#arthur #T (I think there was Ming and Urshmar) #mum Walking out of the observation deck thing but by the harbour, I was mesmerised by how BLUE the sky and the water were. The sky was in a brilliant bright royal blue with absolutely no clouds. The water was shimmering and in a darker shade of navy blue. I couldn’t take my eyes off the beautiful scene.

Following me were Arthur and a few others, and my mum. We were finding a spot to take a rest as the deck was kinda crowded with mainland tourists.

Mum told me to look at the scenery and not to be on my phone. She urged me to go down one step and be closer to the water. Despite knowing how to swim, I was scared as I was just wearing casual wear. And I’m not sure if the water would be safe enough. i didn’t know how deep the water is, and there wasn’t any lifeguards nor buoys. She said, it would be fine, you won’t fall over, trust me. _{(oh but my mum doesn’t know how to swim, bruh how are you sure it would be fine I can’t trust you)} So I stepped one step down and I’m slightly touching the water. It was pretty fun. Finally I initiated to take a selfie together, mainly because I wanted a photo in which Arthur was with me. Took a few tries. Idk how it turned out. And in the dream I got to learn that they’re all living in the same block of building, and

… i got distracted and forgot what I was gonna type

Anyways opposite across the harbour was west kowloon & kai tak, and I realised Narita airport was closer than I expected ! Lol

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swimming, massaging friend n got dumped

#PBLmate Swimming, six people in total including me. One pair of couple (uni friends), two quiet introverted boys, me and Human. Somehow we wanted to play something more wild and spicy. So we paired ourselves up. At the entrance of different pools you are required to walk past a gate again, which detects your saliva. The couple used the man’s (and the girl would kiss the man and get his saliva in order to open the gate for herself too) I decided to do that for both of us (me and Human) But because we weren’t as familiar to that level, the kiss doesn’t work so I just left some saliva on the gate for her to come in.

The quiet boys left.

And I gave her a massage at the bottom. I didn’t penetrate the though. Just a massage. She looked relaxed and a bit aroused, meanwhile I was aroused too and making noises by her ear, which hopefully would “trigger” her more. When it was almost time to leave, I started to play with her right nipple with my tongue. She was apparently more aroused by this. I felt quite proud of myself lol When it was ending I asked for a kiss again because she probably needs it anyways for exiting the gate, not sure As soon as we kiss, I tried to use my tongue to reach into her mouth, although my tongue was dry. but she complained of my breath smell. She said it was itchy and felt fermented. She pushed me away and declared/ yelled she wouldn’t be with me again and anymore! And she walked away angrily. I felt defeated but didn’t hold her back because I was guilty for my breath. Her last sentence is she would reconsider me. So it was not too bad. But I was sad. Maybe just good massaging wasn’t enough to hold a person. _{(reminded me of my dad’s terrible rotting breath. Nah.)}

sus tree man around emperor house

#mum #dad (Now that I revisited the tag I forgot why I added my parents here. Maybe the emperor and wife are mum and dad but as I was writing I forgot)

The emperor’s friend/ wife needs help. He dialed his dad to come to “南門” (south door) His dad- big big emperor came and needs to kow tow and worship from the entrance as a tradition. But usually emperors arrive at big big entrances instead of this small “south door”, so it was wrong but he still kow tow, but the things he pray for had changed into hoping ghosts from south door wouldn’t harm them etc.

Later we saw a sus man at the bushes outside our entrance. He was wearing a lot of leaves, like those PUBG camouflage. But he was “sneakily” but kind of obviously hopping and approaching our entrance. I got scared and told everyone to go inside quickly. Emperor noticed. He hinted his father to retreat. Emperor’s pal/ wife follows the emperor, and didn’t say anything. Emperor’s father was oblivious and still praying. Anyways the sus tree guy was getting closer and closer so we all went back into the house, emperor dragged his dad in too. Well the house wall was made of glass but it’s better than nothing… still very fragile and unsafe. We got blinds on the glass walls though… still unideal.

While walking in the corridor someome told me a historical story/ myth in the house: a little girl got raped by … numbers, erm like if 123456^10000000 , then every time there is a calculation step, the person got thrusted once by the perpetrator.

Somehow in that every calculation step there was also a prize giving ceremony going on for selected pokemon trainers out there. (They were selected based on calculation results, they converted the numbers into different codes and figure out what codes correspond to what trainer and pokemon. And somehow I was one of them for my generation, along with Roy (from pokemon horizons), I think. There was one more pokemon who won in our gen, I think it was Kuwassu (i forgot the English name- the water duck starter in scarlet violet). However before the photo had taken it wasn’t ready yet and wasn’t even on scene. After taking the pic it got ready and got on. It felt very sad and disappointed. (There’s also no retaking of photos) I felt pity for it and comforted it. _{(Oh reminded me of not being in the photo for club group photos for school magazine for two years… because I was late by just a bit. I felt equally down back then.)}

aeon shopping, jpy exchange rate, hotel delivery arrangement

At Japan. I found something cool (useless kids sticker toy) in aeon I saw the prices and it was originally like 1400 yen on the tag on the hook, but on the toy there was a hkd label which says 115 hkd I thought it would be significantly cheaper in jpy, and since we were at japan, could we pay in jpy? I turned around and asked a friend nearby. He was actually still choosing stuff to buy. He said that’s a smart idea, maybe I should ask the cashier and he would like to know too. Meanwhile I was guessing maybe it’s just I couldn’t do tax refund if I pay in jpy, but it would still be cheaper than paying in hkd.

I went to the counter and saw my mum at it. Dad slightly further away, waiting by the side at the back as usual.

It was actually just a bag of items mum bought, but she requested aeon to deliver directly to the hotel since the bag was too big, but she hasn’t received it yet, and she was mad. And she’s gonna complain to the cashier.

Meanwhile I started to brainstorm: maybe they delivered to the wrong locker for the wrong room because we swapped rooms a few days in And then I quickly mentally planned, maybe she can ask the cashier for a note/ receipt of them shipping successfully to whatever locker, as a proof, and then we go to the hotel, explain to them about the wrong locker situation and get the items.

Anyways Mum started to communicate with them with broken English, she sounded mad. I just felt Mum was being stupid and unreasonable. The cashier asked her if she was the one who deliver to room 22xx. By this time I already knew it was really a wrong delivery because our old hotel room was 22xx while our updated new one was 16xx. But mum obviously hadn’t realised that, she was just head on and about to argue anything. I was fed up by this ineffective communication from her so I just went to the cashier and explained the thing in like two sentences. Actually as I was explaining, the cashier already asked me if I wanted a proof/ receipt for the hotel, so I immediately said yes, and the issue was solved. Mum exclaimed this was solved so quickly! She expected this would take much more time! I was too fed up so I didn’t explain to her. I just knew it was because she was approaching people to release her anger, argue her way out and figure out who is in the wrong and prove herself right, instead of providing ideas and discussing together, reaching consensus and solving things together (especially when these things were just oudated info and no one had actually did anything real bad)

It’s just effective communication! Just listen!

Later (quickly), the cashier also offered a big bag and a circular box because she bought something new and maybe she wanted to put this into the bag, which the later could be used outside of the delivered items bag to provide more support (like double bags u know)

Mum initially was very unhappily surprised by why the fuck we wanted such a big bag, instead of listening to the cashier. So I explained to her.

So she “wow…” in a frowning voice. Her appreciation sounds like disapproval, and the cashier seemed shocked.

I asked her immediately why she’d do that, and she claimed she was appreciative! And argued her “wow…” is happy tone. Me and dad tried to educate mum about it, but she brushed us off. Bruh again _{(reminded me of that meal with relatives and mum tried to praise an item being good, but started off with a frowning tone and face and sentence. And that worried her sis lol and then dad was explaining Mum’s always like this – mum’s sis has GAD and dad had a very jumpy and easily frightened nature……….)}

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