a lil walk
self-harm talk w therapist n friends
#T #arthur #pblmate #charlottec #mum
In master bedroom of old home Mum wanted to drag me out of bed to have lunch Me hugging blanket and didn’t want to Leg was a bit painful and itchy from her pull and poking I finally used my foot and pushed her out of room and locked the door I checked my legs and were full of red tiny scratches I sat by the window and looked down (just look, no suicidal ideation) I phoned the office and chatted with Ming
I got down and met up with Alex and Monica where we go for a walk, and we also met Ming We walked tgt and they chatted with me Monica shows me her healing/ healed scars on her forearm and I took a close look. (I suspect this triggered me and I was in a terrible mood for the whole day and relapsed)
When we were returning and after crossing a street we found a little pop up booth distributing candies by the brand of Orange. We got our packs of candies and I started eating. (Actually the candies looked like pills and I feel like as if I am overdosing.) Arthur walked to the booth as well in an orange tshirt, I laughed at him for the orange tshirt but I didn’t tell him it was because he looked like a mannings employee. He was chill and just shrugged lol.
Walking back I received messages in a WhatsApp group chat of me, Charlotte C and Monica. Monica wanted to self harm. So I shared some reasons of why I didn’t want to and methods I used when the urges come, hopefully she can try them out or develop more of her own.
me as babyish newbie at office
Wore pajamas and carrying piles of stuff in a very clunky manner to my new seat. Everyone was wearing suits and working elegantly in this gigantic office, almost the size of one floor of shopping mall.
I was moving my stuff and saw a vibrator on the floor, it was mine but I didn’t dare to pick it up or else they know it would be mine. I felt awkward walking by in my pink pajamas and seeing that pink vibrator bc it made it obvious that it’s mine
Anyways after moving my piles of machines..?? I went back to the spot and the vibrator disappeared. Later people were gossipping about the mysterious vibrator, who brought their vibrator to work and who was so horny. Alex also brought up this topic to me and I told him it was actually mine lmao.
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