escape from catch

I was finally kinda free from the escape from idk perhaps a military group. And I was sitting by a field me and other fellow escapees have been managing and planting. The field was a popcorn field. We were sitting under the shadows under the trees, enjoying the view, and plucking some giant popcorns to eat. They were sweet. The escapee to the right of me had the special talent of sensitive hearing and he was our sentinel. He was of short stature, and was wearing a helmet and a pair of construction earphones (to muffle the sounds?). He still looked very paranoid and panicked and pointed every time a distant plane flew in the blue sky. He told us to be silent every time that happened. I didn't really understand why he was being so scared but it made me a bit scared too nevertheless.

The first few planes were just civilian aircrafts, and he was super scared but they all flew past with nothing happening. I told him to be less tensed. He then looked away for a bit when I noticed a weird shaped plane. It was literally a giant turbine/ engine flying with an odd trail on the sky. I pointed at the turbine plane and asked the short guy what was that. The turbine took a turn and seemingly heading to our popcorn field. I urged the short guy to look up and he saw but it was almost too late, as the turbine thingy was pretty fast and was about to land on our field.

I yelled to everyone to run for their lives as I knew this was certainly headed for us. Instantly, our crowd ran out from under the trees and into the buildings nearby.

Me and the short guy were the closest to the turbine and furthest from the buildings, but we also tried to run towards it. I had a hinge that the security guard who was undercover for the military would be waiting there to catch all of us. But I ignored my sixth sense, thinking it didn't work every time, so I continued running along with others.

As soon as I took a turn into the aisles of the buildings, I looked to the left and saw the guard just standing there looking at all the crowd entering the stairs of the buildings. The building was a trap! But it was too late to tell them while me and a few others watched them walking up.

Me and the few went back to the trees area and took another turn into other aisles of the buildings. I decided to run to the left but the others said they would choose the right. We didn't compromise with each other and we ran our own ways.

_{After waking up I thought I was like Aki from CSM with the ability of seeing a few seconds into the future. But this time I didn't listen to it.}

Ocean Park Halloween

#pblmate #secschool

I was wandering on the streets in Tsim Sha Tsui at night, waiting for the time when we gathered for the halloween event in Ocean Park. I walked a little bit and arrived at the street beneath my old home. I met with Brian by the gate of my estate and we entered together, as it was now the entrance of the Ocean Park event. It was a bit dark while we followed the route into the indoor area with a narrower corridor and carpet underneath. Then we arrived at two mini elevators. Turned out they were single person elevators. It was pretty narrow and can only fit one person inside. Brian entered first and went down. The elevator was actually super fast, as if you are free-falling straight down. I looked down to the hollow space as his lift went down, and it seemed bottomless. I was scared to take my own elevator.

At this moment, a group of people walked by to a new path on my right. One of them was Nicole Chan. I raised my voice and said hi to her. She looked back and called me, and invited me to go with them together cheerfully. Turned out there was a group elevator and we were going together. I thought it would be better to do it together, and she was encouraging me with such passion, so I went along.

We entered and it was a free fall down. I was nervous but everyone else was thrilled. I wondered perhaps this was the feeling of jumping off a building.

Then, they started chanting together, landing in 10... 9.. (counting down), and Nicole was teaching me how to brace for impact. I didn't hear clearly if I should lock my ankles or not, and what posture I should take for my lower body. After the countdown, they realised it was not the bottom of the pit yet. So they chanted again, and I got braver and opened my eyes wider to look around me and even below me to guess the time for impact. So with my vision, I panicked less and embraced the impact. The hit was a bit painful but in my expectation. Though the people on top hitting us made my arm a bit sore, but we got out of the elevator unscathed, and we entered the grand underground lobby of Ocean Park.

I walked around to search for familiar faces and Brian who went down before me. I saw a lot of high school classmates and eventually I saw him along with a few others from my ward group (I think there was Heather).

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unhinged driving

#relative #mum It was at night when the sky was fully dark but there were still quite many cars on the road, flashing their red taillights as we were stuck in traffic. I was supposed to drive but I was a bit scared bc the road is in Shanghai and I was unfamiliar with it so aunt Helen wanted to demonstrate and mum let her. But Helen drove like crap and we almost fell off the highway bridge multiple times because she wasn't driving straight. (Wait actually we did fall off, but landed on the supporting arc of the bridge ?? So basically a narrower road and me and mum were yelling anxiously to Helen to drive straight for real or else we would actually fall into the sea) Everything was bumpy too. The next round mum wanted to “serve” her justice? So it became her turn to drive and I needed to wait again. But she drove very fast, although we didn't fall off the bridge. Quite unsafe and I was scared. She was using the size of our big car to dive into other's lines without being scared at all so her success rate was 100%. I figured out how come she was so dominant and it would always work for her.

Then it finally became my turn to drive. I drove slower and wanted to turn on the lights so I was figuring out because mainland car driver's seat was in the left side rather than right side. And mum just switched it on instantly. And I also used the signal lights to cut lines etc. I was driving safely but the road after the highway was actually bumpy as fuck and I was driving with horses that are on the road so the road was very rural. So I was driving super slowly. But eventually I finished my round.

_{(Perhaps driving almost outside the bridge was literally because of the recent news about how a plane landed at the airport but drove off into the sea, and the simulated graphics on the news were still kinda vivid in my mind)}

pbl driving

#uni I was waiting in the hospital along with my bedside group for the start of attachment. We were quite bored and Monika asked me where I bought my pokemon plushies. I listed three places for her: the first one was a small dark shopping mall we went together and saw the coin slot game machines _{(in a previous dream today)(but I didn't write here because it became a fragment)}; the other place would be also that shopping mall but the very other end of it on the ground floor where all the delicate boutiques were but they would be more pricey _{(visited this in an old dream i think perhaps I have recorded it in this site) (this shopping mall overall was in one of my another old dream too about a zombie apocalypse but I'm not sure if I recorded it either)}; the last site would be a small upstairs store i think

And then Benson suggested let's play a racing game with horses, so we took turns going out of the hospital and rode the horses, and the route was almost identical to the unhinged driving dream, but I recalled the highway part less and more riding on the horsey rough road. I was the last to go and initially I had a game tee by the horse game that was hanging on the hospital walls opp to where we were sitting and standing, but when it became my turn I gave my tee to Benson.

My horse was ridiculously tiny compared to others + my groupmates, so it was difficult for me to climb the slope on the rough hilly road. But mum appeared on another horse and told me I can press B and make the horse jump. I figured I can press space for the same function too. Anyways I got past it and returned to the hospital after my round, which I didn't feel complete because I felt my round was cut to half but I wasn't sure where I could ride a complete path. I went back and they (esp Benson) were like oh the doctor hasn't come yet, how about you play more bc my round seemed pretty short compared to them, so I said sure I was thinking about the same thing. And then I did one more of that half round and came back.

Benson returned my game tee but he modified the patterns a bit, the game characters had slightly different facial features and it was hilarious. I took that tee.

nap with pokemon in small room

_{Wasn't sure the sequence of the dreams (idk if it happened before the first dream or here), so I put it here}

I was back inside my room aka the third place where I told Monika where my pokemon were from (lol), and it was a very damp, small and dark room. I miss my Feraligatr from a cardboard box by my bed so I took it out and put it beside me. _{(tbh I think I dreamt it bc I just saw the ZA new megas and this toilet bowl pokemon blew my mind)} I checked what other pokemons were in the two cardboard boxes by my bed, they were the ones I just bought but not enough love to put them onto the bed, and they were all lizards and dragons, so I wondered oh wow I had a preference to these kind of animals. I hugged my pokemons (including Feraligatr and Riolu and others- prob Salamence) to sleep.

almost losing PE bag omw to school

#secschool #primschool (The school feels like secondary school bc of the workload and plot, but my body, mentality and my friend’s were like primary students…)

omw to school and almost late, I was holding my PE bag on my hand which had my sports clothes and shoes, while carrying my schoolbag on my back, typical to every PE class I had every week in primary/ secondary school. Then on the way I met a (dream) friend and we chatted about the school timetable because it was too chaotic recently with many school event and day offs so we didn't exactly know which day of the cycle was today. We both felt a bit relieved when we found out we were just randomly packing our schoolbags for today lmao.

Then I realised my PE bag was missing from my hand. I was worried and started to think where had I put it, but I had no time to double check my schoolbag if I put it inside because I was running late. My friend seemed concerned and we were looking on the previous roads while we were heading to school. But we couldn't see it.

So I went to school, and was telling my parents on whatsapp on the phone about the seemingly lost bag. Then I opened my backpack and found out I had already packed the PE bag inside previously somehow, and it was found again.

first cedars counselling

• this is fake dream cedars

In the dream uni the school thought I had some mental needs so they told me to go to the counselling team and it was a mandatory order. So I climbed up the stairs to a higher floor where their office should be, but it directed it down to the lower floor where the entrance was. There was a few questionable signs in front of the entrance. The signs were just floor directories for their office, but then the words were like xx /F: triaging, intake and baptism ; xx /F: counselling rooms and prayer rooms etc. and the bottom was a line from those teachings aka a “Bible-like verse??”, so they made it super religious and I didn't like it. So I was selfie-ing with the signs and posted on my public ig story with a qna button, and the auto prompt kind of suited my scenario, so although I was a bit hesitant in posting that, I still did it. The prompt was: What should you say to a person who was suicidal?

Anyways I went inside and saw a white square sofa with a thick airy white blanket so I lied inside and napped, but I saw people queuing up for something, so later I joined the queue and it was the triaging place.

A staff directed me to another spacious room where we wait after triaging (their triage was basically recording your name and DoB and idk perhaps faculty/ degree program). The staff was confirming names with others at the table and one of the boy had an identical chinese name to me, and the staff introduced me to the boy and told us we could chat together. At the table Brian was sitting too.

Waited for not very long time when a male counsellor led me to his room on another floor via stairs. He started talking really boring shit like exercise and health and whatnot. This has been going on for like 15 mins and we were watching a documentary about how cells replicate their DNA...... and then another video comparing the prevalence of occupational osteoarthritis with other shit. _{(This video was shot on a bus, and somehow the dream technology also enabled us to be immersed in the video and riding a bus while learning that)} And he told me I can do an assignment project on that public health topic. And at this point I thought this was way beyond boring as a counselling session, so I told him actually I am a medical student and I have already learnt it. And about the comparing prevalence rate, I have already done it before at school. He didn't believe I did that exact thing, because the topic was original and made by the cedars (main campus counselling team). And I said no, it was really identical. It was legit the topics mentioned by the Department of Health in a leaflet before. He asked when did I do it. I said probably primary. He answered it make sense then.

He stopped the video, and back into the office environment he was sitting by my side on the right. Then I said he was quite boring and he wasn't really counselling. (sth like that) And he told me to look at his (hand? forgot). I looked. And then he told me to look at his eyes. I looked up and saw his eye was half open and I could only see most of the sclera and little pupil because his eye wasn't opening wide. I became very upset and started to whine into his shoulder. He asked gently what happened, while I continued to shove myself more into his shoulder. I said I couldn't even see your pupil and he was not even looking at me. :( And then I told him he looked and his vibe was a bit like Arthur but he was not. Arthur wouldn't avoid my eyes even if I seldom look at him, but every time I looked he would always look back at me. (Firmly and gently, without wavering and avoiding like this dream guy) :( And then I told him I was actually here because I want to figure out how I can be better in the sessions with Arthur, and open my hearts more and become more authentic during my sessions.

However this cedars policy was a bit interesting in a way that you need to see two different counsellors for 30 minutes and then your whole session would be an hour. This dream therapist seemed hurry and we were running out of time unfortunately, he checked the time and it was past :40 so we ran down the stairs to get back to the initial room (with white sofa) in order to hand me over to the next counsellor. He wrote onto a board about a “discussion topic” seeing counsellor at whatever time. But I was walking towards the triage table to find familiar faces, so I didn't see when he was writing, and I didn't know which line was mine because none really suit me lol I continued sitting while I saw Brian still waiting at that initial table. Then I left and sat on the sofa where the therapist guy discharged me at.

On the sofa I saw a familiar face of a staff woman walking by, my brain said it was someone whose name started with F (like Fiona) but I couldn't make out who was actually this person.

Then I began to imagine what title I should give this dream. (in the dream) My first thought that popped out was “artist uproar” (it made sense in the dream...) and then later I woke up and saw it was almost time for school but I decided to nap a bit more to figure out another topic but this time was even worse “spicy girl and crazy habits”

_{I think I dreamt this “first cedars counselling session” because my friend just went there for her first session two days ago and yesterday me and my other friend were chatting about it with her}

_{And by now I was officially late for school and typing all this out spent another hour and I am still on my bed while the lesson started...... sajhdklsdkfh}

_{So I slept again}

picking cushions

#arthur

I was at a backyard with many grass and some cushions here and there. So I was picking up and collecting the cushions and moving them into the red house. It’s like a little egg hunt. I also found an easter egg (non literal) someone left on the outer wall of the house, behind the decoy I found an B6 celebratory card and a small wooden red block in butterfly shape which should be a toy. I focused on the block so I didn’t read the words written with thick black marker on that card decorated with gold lining.

Then after moving all the pillows I could find, I returned into the house as it was quite sunny outside. When I was walking around and browsing my collection (rectangular pillows, square pillows, special pillows, baby fabric books, kid toys idk just categorised into many open baskets 貨籃? and kind of like IKEA), Arthur came and asked which one have I chosen, and I thought maybe I was supposed to choose a cushion to sit on during my sessions and to decorate my room

He pointed to a star shaped one and asked how about this, I told him that one was too hard to sit on. So he pointed to the few dice cushions next to it. I said they were a bit small but I can try. So I took one and tried to sit on it, but again the material was harder than I expected so it was uncomfortable. But I didn’t have good suggestions either so I just brought it with me.

Dream ended abruptly- I think there was an item I was holding afterwards in the dream which suddenly reminded me of real life, so I just woke.

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therapy in bedroom

#arthur

Got some stacks of memo slips from the living room after asking my mum for permission, and restocked them in my bedroom for general use + studying. And then I headed out to the streets. I saw a digital bulletin and there was a new twitter account, and people were discussing about it. I didn’t quite catch the details but I looked it up nevertheless. Not knowing what to do with this piece of random information, I just continued walking. I think I liked a tweet though, not sure, but I did interact slightly with the account.

I went to the arena for some reason, and played some irl splatoon… I remember I was playing the nautilus and ballpoint for the yellow team and I think we were winning. I forgot who was on the opposite team but I think it was people I know _{(oh i miss gaming)}

Then I headed back home with an ecchi anime magazine I bought at a bookstore around where people were discussing about the twitter account.

Then it was time for my therapy session. This time it was a bit special where Arthur was going to my home and meet me in my bedroom. (Mum wasn’t home I think, so she wouldn’t know about it)

He sat in my wheelie office chair while I sat on my bed (bc there’s only enough space for that). I was lowkey surprised he can easily sit in the chair because my room was so cramped I need to adjust the chair at a particular angle to shove myself in, irl. (The bedroom is identical to irl) He displayed the same account as the one shown in the bulletin boards on the streets on a digital display on my bed. He said this was his. I was like ooh, and then I followed him. I scrolled down and see he replied a tweet from another client, iirc the client was tweeting about starting therapy and then Arthur replied a single word but I forgot what, but it had a positive valence. Lowkey I felt it was inappropriate to respond publicly because you will be the one exposing you are her therapist

But I was a little bit jealous ngl, but then Arthur was like I recognise your twitter account and looked through it a bit And then we started chatting but he replied something questionable like I wish you could like more of my tweets or something like that (I can’t exactly remember), plus he started talking in a slightly more friendlier and intimate tone with symbols (… I saw his speech has a ♡ symbol and he was choosing an emoji when making his sentence, like typing) And I was feeling like woah that’s not professional at all But I just went with the flow, and I used my hand to grab the hovering emojis he was choosing and used one of them to reply Arthur. _{(I hope this is understandable- me grabbing a physical/ AR hovering text symbol from his speech bubble he was building in progress like a merge of swipe to type and jigsaw puzzles to form sentences as he was speaking it out) (this was how I visualise to interpret and form sentences for conversations when I was small too… speaking of which I did have dreams with people “speaking” that way when I was young ~primary school too!)} And then I showed him my ecchi magazine, cuz there was a page inside with us hugging each other but in anime style _{(thinking back it was literally just a generic brown haired NPC with a purple haired anime girl which fits none of my OCs lol)}

At some point I think I showed him my toy and I was trying to use it but it was too weak so I was not aroused, or maybe my posture wasn’t right

Anyways we had an interesting session

_{(I think this dream makes a bit of sense to a certain degree, since their office is moving soon but without an eta, the next session was changed to zoom so basically I would be zooming on my bed regarding the toy perhaps it was because we mentioned related stuff while discussing about my sensory and interospection issues About the friendlier ♡ thing I think it was bc of a playful joke we made at the start of last session (basically I complemented Arthur’s new hairstyle (he tied a little bun !!!) I told him he’s super 得意 (≈cute/ fun?) and he replied not as cute as you) LOL (We had a strong rapport, this was our dynamic, I knew his personality was just like that and I knew clearly it was a joke although I’m aware i like to imagine and project a ton of shit using my transference) but I told Ivan and he said he wanted to report him for that :p I guess he didn’t pass the vibe check}

Even more problematic psychologist online friend

Ok this friend was back in like senior primary junior high school era, I met him when we were in mcig In the dream he was a psychologist We were texting in whatsapp and he told me about his new client who fell head over toes for him, he was smirking (sent smirking stickers) while he was showing me their convo. The girl was Harm*n who was sitting next to me in f1 They texted so much and the tone was like dating And I kinda was jealous again _{(bruh he wasn’t even Arthur)} so I also texted him more I think I wanted sex bc the toy from last dream wasn’t useful at all But I knew it was so problematic as a psychologist to do whatever he was doing now, but if I view him through my lenses of being an online friend only, it seemed better _{(perhaps this is also one of the reason why you can’t have double relationships in therapy} So I asked what he’s doing and he said he was watching netflix And I asked him when would he come visit me So he asked me what city I was in And I only knew that point he wasn’t even in my city so I was a bit disappointed lol

_{(seemed like I get jealous when the therapists cross their boundaries for another client. Happened in both dreams alr. That’s kinda toxic)}

---

_{I’m feeling a bit bad bc most of my dreams now are Arthur-related (and I tend to skip recording those that are not lmao), I hope I don’t bore you guys if any are actually reading this blog}

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Referral to social worker

#arthur I think the social worker is helping me with eating issues although i don’t have an ed He was seeing me because Arthur referred me to him Initially a bit hea and I’m just writing down notes And i thought it was a bit important for him to know my comorbidities like ptsd but idk how much he knew about it since idk how Arthur phrased his referral letter So i just repeated my whole incident out And he’s a bit concerned and a little bit mindblown and asked me what uni am i from, (bc he connects with a lot of unis) So i told him duh the one in the incident and he’s like right Anyways yeah _{(wow improvement from last time’s where i couldn’t speak of it without being conscious, i can show my emotions too)}

Naked with apron visiting Japanese temple

Phone low battery Should be meeting up with parents but we were travelling separately Stuck in the train station Bc my apron is a bit too loose and flashes my nipples from time to time

Arthur’s new famous ig account

100k likes in one of his posts I found this acc initially but i forgot about it, and this time it was ivan who sent me his post So i was stalking again and found he was riding a nanny van. I looked around in the one i was currently in, which has timothy (uni), heidi, kaka (?) and others, and i was presuming this is a nanny van from taikoo to my high school (lmao although they dont live there) But this time arthur wasn’t in the van and presumably i was sitting in his seat/ the angle where he took the photo and posted it So I dmed heidi to ask about it although it would be awkward but i still did it for the sake of knowing So she replied me verbally on the van she saw his luggage and luggage tag which said his name And she asked me is he your counsel— I was like shhh And i asked her where is he now But she didn’t reply (ig she wasnt sure too) So i asked her again but also no reply So i just continued stalking his posts He had a short clip where he was a group cast for a movie and he was wearing police clothes with a gun and i find him kinda hot in such costumes and i was thinking how it would like to touch him in that beefy suit

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first time smoking 爆珠

I had a dream friend who was smoking pink 爆珠煙 She lighted her cigarette with a big blue+ green flame. Her cigarette tip glowed in pink.

I don’t have a lighter and I was scared of flames so I asked for her lighter and she gave it to me. I was originally hoping she would light my cigarette for me- but nvm cuz I don’t want her to know I’m lowkey scared and I look stupid for wanting to smoke but scared of the fire bruh

So I lighted my purple 爆珠 and the cigarette light was purple too which was super cool. I tried to breathe in the smoke but I have never tried smoking real cigarettes irl so idk how to smoke in the dream either………… I put in too much of the cigarette into my mouth and the ashes fall in a kinda wrong place bc of that. Anyways we cheered our cigarettes together like drinks, and smoked together. Mine tasted kinda sweet like blueberries.

_{I think I dreamt it because I saw a redbook post of someone lighting a black devil pink vanilla cigarette and the flame tip was actually pink in colour too which was super pretty and interesting and I wanted to smoke too…… and previously I also saw other posts about 爆珠煙 and the idea of it sounds interesting and I wanted to try popping the sweetener balls??? *ik now that pink vanilla wasn’t 爆珠 but my dream just works like that and combining both tgt}

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glasses and camera filter making me obese

I was tidying up my bedroom (specifically the shelf next to my table). I was reorganising the stuff inside the shelf by removing all the items and reordering it one by one, starting by putting a chiikawa face cushion to a new compartment. Then next I found a new item which was a pair of big black thick plastic framed glasses. I wore it. Curious of how the biiiig glasses would look on me, I looked at the mirror in front of me and held my phone up to take a mirror selfie using the in-built camera function of the 拼多多 app bc there was a filter function. I looked at the mirror and found my face was so morbidly obese. Legit there was a ring of fat around my face when I was looking at it but istg (at least irl) I am not fat and I am fit. But it just looked so ugly and different. Then I looked at my phone and saw how it photoshopped and filtered away my ring of fat. And I look so pretty like those internet kols.

Some feelings after waking up: The way the mirror, and the filter played tricks on my eyes was crazy- and tbh idk which one was true which one was not. What if I was indeed fat in the dream but I kept the idea I wasn’t in real life? Am I gaslighting myself again? Also the filter editing my face to become so pretty was wild- it was kinda difficult to admit I was drawn by the powers of the app despite knowing it was fake beauty in the dream; and for half a sec I was actually considering dieting for the sake of losing that weight although there might not be such a deposition of fat at the first place and my eyes and brain were just playing tricks on myself I think I can sort of feel how people with eating disorders perceive their bodies…

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exam things and gaming

I had to do a meta analysis during my exam Also played a bunch of coop minecraft with friends? I was using a controller though

love hotel with Arthur

#arthur

I was at a little mountain for an outdoor class (I forgot who were there). I climbed a bit further than the rest of the group so when the class was about to dismiss I had to walk back down. Arthur was one of the mentors, and he waited for me on the stairs of the mountain, so we became the last in the group. He called a taxi and it arrived quickly, and I asked if I could ride it as well. He was okay with it, and opened the door for me. I let him enter the taxi first. (We both took the backseat.) The inner seat had a few throws and quilts on it, presumably left by the taxi driver, anyways he sat inside and I followed. The taxi was a bit cramped so my shoulder was touching to his, I looked at his side and he was actually wearing a black windbreaker, which was similar to or identical with my black arcteryx jacket that I wore almost every day during my exchange.

We got off the taxi in one of the streets. It felt like Japan, and specifically near one of the very few familiar metro stations I sometimes dream of recurrently. The sky was already dark by the time we got off the cab, and I stood at the right of Arthur as we walked along the streets, locking his arms in mine. It was almost the corner where we would turn left and enter the metro station, but I didn't want to. I looked at the LED banner of the department store (actually a several storeys love hotel) right before the corner. Arthur asked me, wanna go in? I said yes, and so he turned into the store, alongside me, who was sticking in his arms.

The store has several non-connected lifts, i.e. you have to transit between lifts to reach different floors. To filter off suspicious people like idk police? or illegal prostitutes, and allowing genuine couples to enter.

At first we took a lift right in front of the entrance that should be leading us to 1/F where the general reception was, but it went down to -1/F. Actually during the lift ride I was so weak and steamy from the realisation that Arthur indeed proposed we fuck, in addition to while we both knew that Arthur had a wife and this was all in secret, so my legs were trembling from being weak and I was so wet down there it was actually dripping.

I was a bit shy for making the lift floor dripping with secretion, so I teleported back to home (still unconsciously, not lucid dreaming) to get some tissues to wipe myself to at least not let it drip. I was wiping myself in the corridor when my mum walked out of the toilet and saw me. I just told her I was wiping, and asked her not to step onto the drippings on the floor, which she already didn't before I reminded her. She left. I was super aroused still and wondered how would it look like if I have a dick and being aroused at this level. So as I was walking to my bedroom, I looked down and saw I had an erected dick. But then my dick seems like the size of people in senior primary/ junior secondary school aka it was a bit small...... Anyways it felt interesting to see my arousal presented in a physical, observable form.

(while sleeping I can feel my blood just goes down lol, quite exciting)

I was back in the space with Arthur as we walked out at -1/F and there was a lady with a writing board, she apologised for sometimes the lift being a bit malfunctioning and flagging people out of random. She said if people were rightly flagged they would be trapped here forever since there would not be any buttons to call the lift to fetch them in -1/F. She unflagged us and accompanied us to ride the lift back up to ground level, to guide us onto a correct lift. During the lift trip she asked/ chatted about basic things like what brought us here. And I answered her 今日係即興，不過其實已經諗咗好耐。(it was impromptu today, but actually [we] had it in mind for a while already.) She seemed to be approving of our response. Actually Arthur was just standing lovingly behind me and holding me so although he didn't speak, we seemed like a sweet, genuine couple.

She escorted us out of the lift and she left. We then took another lift at the inner side of the department store which was the correct lift. We lifted the cover fabric with a giant puppy printed on it, and saw the back of the lift, so we went to the other side where the door was. It was quite tricky so perhaps this is one of the ways to prevent unknown guests from accessing the love hotel.

Then we went to 1/F successfully where we were given a number, 170, and proceeded to take another lift to 2/F, where the rooms were.

The 2/F was so big with many signs as if we were at the airport searching for gates. We walked for a while when I realised 170 was probably our room number, as I assumed it was a queue number previously. We walked to find signs for directing us to 170. Actually by this time we had already wasted a lot of time and my drive is losing and I was worried the more time we stalled, the more Arthur did not want to fuck anymore or regret bringing me to a love hotel/ having conscience to be loyal to his wife. And irl it was around 7 or 8am and my bedroom was bright which made me semi-awake and I was definitely not pleased by it !!!!!!

I struggled to keep myself sleeping and return to the unconscious state in the dream (because there was no point if you become fully conscious) And all I remember while we were walking slowwwwwwly around the floor was hearing passerbys chitchatting about the 170 room being so messy with so many liquids all over the room and nobody wants to claim/ use the room. So I was feeling a bit like uh oh our room might be disastrous and idk how it would play out.

And then I just couldn't dream anymore as I was waking up by the sunlight :(

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winnie driving and super late to attachment

#6grass

Me and Candice were sitting at the backseat of Winnie's car. She was driving me to have an orthopaedics attachment session at Duchess of Kent Children Hospital and Candice was just tagging along._{(The hospital was oddly specific because I just read an orthopedics newsletter featuring that hospital yesterday evening}

The view outside the window was the road below my home. I wasn't sure if Winnie knows the way to the hospital because she didn't seem to have a map with her, so I was guiding her way until we get out of Cross Harbour Tunnel bc after that idk where was that Hospital either. We also had a “task of the day” which was refilling petrol for the car which we have never tried before.

I guided her to on which lane to take when waiting for the traffic lights etc but there was a mini cone on the road so I told her to switch but she swerved too late and hit the cone- I was like uh okay not too big of a deal- and then told her to use the outermost lane after we turn bc it was going from 4 lanes to 3. But she knew it so it was ok

We were stuck in the traffic for a while and we got a call from the doctor- it was 1:31 pm and our attachment (only us 2) was supposed to start at 1:30- winnie told him we were coming

Anyways I told her there would be a gas station after all the bus stops and it would be obvious. _{(non existent irl)} She drove slowly and I still missed/ couldn't see the entrance but we saw the exit of the gas station so we decided to reverse into the station lmao

She refilled the car and I asked her to double check if she had put away the petrol gun thing back safely and if our car refilling lid was closed, she was a little bit annoyed but say ofc she did those so I was like ok cool

We got past the toll station but since we were at the leftmost lane after getting out of the petrol station, it was only accepting the smart autotoll chips which Winnie did not have on her car. We drove past and a mobile station appeared for Winnie to tap with her octopus so it was kinda solved

I was chilling and lying on the seat, looking at all the advertisements on the walls of the tunnel along with Candice.

By the time we got out of the tunnel, we received a notification on our phones saying the marks for the attachment was out. We noticed the time was already 2:42 which was already the end of attachment. We saw a missed comment from the doctor's assistant saying we were going to miss the doctor starting a surgery on a patient. Then we looked at the comments the doctor gave on the mark sheet. Initially it appeared some generic template like adjectives that people would describe normal students with, with a mark of 20. We were chuckling a bit because we thought it was funny to get a 20 despite not showing up at all. Then the mark sheet updated with the comments replaced as sth along the lines as “highly collaborative”, hardworker etc (we guessed the highly collaborative referred to us skipping class together). And the mark was changed from 20 to 19. We thought it was a nice mark until I asked Winnie and we realised total was 40 and now we failed the session.

volleyball match with a cat

#OurLady

Me and a rather competent/ demanding or dominant friend (I forgot who that was- either Ivan or Queenie) were invited to a cat's home to play volleyball. So basically it was the cat's 主場. We were winning by so much initially- around 17:2 . Until I began to make errors in starting the ball, And also my friend who suddenly decided we swap roles from time to time (unpredictedly) when we were already playing by that she receives the ball and I hit the ball back. She argued because I stood closer to the net sometimes so I should be the one receiving the ball. _{(ok as I was writing it was a she so probably Queenie)} I was pretty mad but she was not going to change at all and we still have the competition in front of us so I said Fine. And asked her what role I am playing every time the ball was started. (Her words wouldn't count before the ball starts)

Anyways me and the cat were playing quite crappy and then Qu**nie decided to pause the game as she saw the lightbulbs were shining in a weird colour. She unplugged the bulbs and hold it closer to show me, while I was like I knew it was like that. And then she saw the cat's eyes were also in this glossy weird mix of colours so she began to tell the cat it must be difficult for it to see, and babbled a lot of “touching and relatable shit for the cat to listen and showing she empathise with the cat” I was like ........ and then she decided to end the game here and we prob gonna continue the match someday.

_{After waking up and processing the plot of the two dreams again I just felt the common thing was I wasn't providing an adequate amount of support for my “groupmate” and I wasn't competent enough- hence the title inadequacy :P also I dislike how Queenie was showing up in my dreams more often now holy it's like having a new character who downplays and criticises you in the dream for the most unnecessary shit ever- and maybe I need to make a new hashtag dedicated for HER ew}

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tension/ intimacy w ivan

#ivan #charlotteh

Many things happened before this but I’ll start from here:

I was lying on my bed waiting for piano class which would be homeschooled When I look to my left Ivan opened my door and entered my room. He was wearing secondary school uniform with a schoolbag. He sat/lied beside me on the bed. We seemed like a pair of very close couple. I turned back to my right, feeling a bit warm and i think i was blushing. I wondered if he will get closer to me. He turned to my side and I felt his face was very close to me, as if his breaths can be felt by my ear. We were sure we were just friends, but it was the first time I felt that way. Yet it was the first time I had such a feeling to gay people, and I was also thinking how come he would be “interested” in me, a woman.

At this very intense moment when we were both anticipating each other to be more intimate, mum came back home and opened my door. All she saw was Ivan sitting appropriately on the bed in his school attire. I explained to her Ivan just came. Mum seemed ok with it and left the room.

Then it’s time for piano class and we (or me only?) had it. On WhatsApp Charlotte hon told me she’ll wait for my class to finish before grabbing dinner together. During the class I was thinking then she needed to wait for so long for me but i was busy in class so i couldn’t reply to tell her about the time my class will end and tell her to think if she don’t need to wait for me. After a long class I finally met her but seemed like she also had a class soon.

_{holy fuck he’s just a friend but i read and ahem enjoyed an erotic literature ahem which coincidentally was my name + his and I sent to him lol so the dream probably came from that but although the story has his name i didn’t imagine the person as him aarrrrjakdhkasjks}

_{nani the fuck my mum said she dreamt I brought a guy back home who is not tall (ard 5cm taller than me) and not slim but not fat either I told her i dreamt about ivan She said but ivan is gay I said why is that related She said because usually people bring bf gfs to see parents I said oh u mean seeing parents in terms of bringing a guy back She said yeah and the boy has pale skin I said ivan also has pale skin Anyways she began to said he’s probably lacking love thats why he’s gay and asked me about ivan if he is doing girl or boy role in a gay relationship So I reeducated her about being gay is an inborn thing and told her not to care about ivan’s love life}

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I grew big seductive boobs !

These happened over different dreams in different days in the past week. But because I was demotivated to write them down, I forgot all the details but only the gist.

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Very mad at parents for them signing me up to a master's degree that I had no interest in and I didn't want.

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Mum is a tailor. One day she forced me to wear one of her outfit in her shop which had an open design on the street (putting her goods on the sidewalks). I wore and so many men looked at me while they walked past. I looked at myself at the full body mirror by the sidewalk and saw that the tight dress is semi transparent and the material was like stockings. I saw I had big boobs, and the nipples were quite visible. I looked and looked and found them quite seducing and pretty. Mum found out my dress was semi transparent and she told me to take it off. I thought I wore it enough and I took it off and put it on the ground. But later I miss the feeling of wearing it and seeing my breasts and showing off to the men, so I wanted to wear it, but some smaller shopkeepers girls said no and prevented me from wearing it while I was trying to put it on.

_{(After waking up I started to understand why people like big boobs. They have a motherly characteristics that are special to women.)}

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Next day (dream) I had class at uni which was kinda long, uneventful and boring

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