Neko

dream

arthur

Dream from yesterday but thought it was short and boring so I didn’t write

minecraft coop

Opened a new minecraft world with a total of 4 people. We go explore the map sometimes together, sometimes alone. We helped each other and it was efficient and nice. I’d say it was enjoyable.

Those below are today’s

h manga on bus

Hahaha!!! #arthur #mum Lmao!

Riding bus home with mum. I was in secondary school uniform so I was probably a secondary school student. A primary school girl was sitting in front of me, and next to Arthur. The seating plan was like:

🚪exit door 💺(arthur)💺(prim sch girl) | aisle | 💺(mum)💺(me) | aisle |

At first mum was talking to me. So I looked at her direction. And then I saw Arthur sitting in front of us. I was thrilled but I couldn’t show it and I couldn’t say hi because mum didn’t know who Arthur was and I didn’t want to tell her. So I just observed him.

At the mean time, he took out his ipad. He turned it on. It was a hentai manga. (Wowwww) The screen was rather bright too so naturally it caught my attention. I began to read the content of the pages.

The ipad was big enough to show the first page and part of the second page. For some reason the pages are in landscape mode. Maybe it’s actually two vertical pages combined together? Idk. The first page was cover page, so it was in full colour. The second page was blue and white, but they slightly coloured the flesh in the normal colour. It looked rather intensive because the mangaka drew a lot of scenes onto the same page, and it’s just the first two page. (Or maybe it’s because it’s a chapter in the middle of the book, idk)

The content of first page included… A hand grabbing a small dedenne and putting it in the anus (sorry!) Glimpses of zhongli from Genshin Impact on top Multiple drawings of girl getting fucked … I couldn’t look closely at the details because my mind was occupied by the cursed vivid image of shoving dedenne into the anus like a dildo💀🙏🏻 oh my god

My reaction in the dream was, see! Arthur plays genshin impact (since he picked a book with such characters) And, oh wow that looks intense, didn’t know Arthur had this side and was interested in hentai. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

While still maintaining a conversation with Mum, I took out my phone to take a pic, because it was interesting. I pretended to text/ use my phone in order to not let my mum know I’m taking a pic of a “stranger” nor letting her see the guy was reading nsfw content, that would be hard to explain?

I snapped a pic. However he looked bored, despite the seemingly engaging and exciting manga. So he took out his phone to search for another hentai manga, and began to read it, while the ipad screen was still on. I snapped another pic.

The primary school girl (she was wearing our school’s primary school uniform) looked directly in front of her throughout the bus ride and seemed unbothered.

We happened to leave at the same station. Arthur picked up the kid’s pink schoolbag and put it on one side of his shoulder. He and the girl were getting off together. Turned out he’s her dad.

While getting off, I tried to ahem to catch Arthur’s attention. But he couldn’t hear it. Maybe he’s too attentive looking after the kid.

After getting off, they were holding hands, walking at a normal/ slightly fast pace. I wanted to catch up with them. But first I need to carry my schoolbag first. However, my hands had no force and the schoolbag was as heavy as a dumbbell. I was stuck standing there on the ground holding the schoolbag.

Looking at them walking further and further away, I yelled at my mum to help me put the schoolbag on my shoulder, but secretly it was to catch their attention. But they continued walking with no response, and soon, they disappeared.

I didn’t really have strong emotions in the dream I guess? (Except at the beginning where we were on the same bus)

It was slightly interesting because I would’ve assumed Arthur probably was deliberately ignoring me, but now I gave him (& my mind) the benefit of the doubt and think maybe he genuinely couldn’t hear it because my ahems were too general :0 omg I think I see something

packing salads

#mum #charlotteh Two recipe- one from mum’s recommended Daisy (literally Donald Duck’s wife)’s recipe, one was Charlotte’s recommendation Daisy’s: delicicate, two half egg, torn chicken breast, salad veggies, green and yellow pepper, spring onion, with sauce on top of everything. Looks nice Charlotte’s: two half egg, 2 whole chicken breast, salad veggies, no more. Simple to prepare and nutrition content was fairly the same I wanted to make Charlotte’s since I was running out of time. However mum insisted I follow her recommendation and make Daisy’s version. I told her the ingredients were similar and we could make a spinoff version by adding similar ingredients as Daisy’s but simplify it using Charlotte’s method (e.g. chicken breasts untorn, I can tear it myself when I was about to eat if I wanted to) Finally after explaining for multiple times she agreed and I got to use my way. While I was preparing she realised this method was smart and praised me. I felt slightly annoyed because she wasted a lot of time rejecting my idea without actually thinking about it

Somehow the story changed into something that happened in the 小紅書 comments section (of what? Our interaction?) And a random client (the comment section was full of clients of different therapists) made an English quiz because she’s proud of being an English teacher. Fill in the blanks by choosing the most suitable word Tested [anxious] attachment Me and others in the comments thought it was a bad quiz because she’s not testing English language, but jargons instead.

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I just want to stay in the hotel room all day with this bouncy bed and cozy bed sheets.

finding seats, solo revision

#arthur #secschool #uni

went to a shopping mall/ chiwah learning commons sort of place, there was a crowded mcdonalds, everyone was busy studying.

As the mcdonalds was full, I went to a bench at the corridor of the shopping mall I was sitting next to some other uni students i guess

I think Arthur walked by, promoting some sort of event. coincidentally I left the bench when he went to chat with the people at my bench He was probably sharing some case studies and the case was me

after chatting with hte people at the bench, he saw im not too far off from the bench, so he glided to me and ask if im alright, before gliding away (?

Later I went back to the mcdonalds, wanting to find seats. I saw my friend, Jenny. (Super nice high school classmate/ uni classmate, gave me her notes, helped me a lot in my revision.. aaaa) We decided to find seats together. Jenny found a nice seat for both of us. Right after Jenny put her water bottle to “claim” the place, she left to move other stuff/ order food, and immediately a group of people came and took up the rest of the seats. I have no seat. I am not that shocked tbh. I felt like I'm used to this.

I walked away from the mcdonalds and back to my bench in the mall. some new people were on the bench, they were chatting so happily until I came. They shut their mouth and no one talked. I felt embarrassed and ashamed because I made them stopped talking.

One of the new people (Trini, a schoolmate irl), suggested going to explore, and head to the mcdonalds direction. As I just came back, I didn't go along and stayed at the bench. The rest of the group went, except from another boy, who was from the original people on the bench.

— After a while I dreamt I was walking on the street next to my home at night, revising and memorising some piece of notes. (It was the same dream)

Later I was back in my room, and I was making a new live2d model for streaming. (to put it in simple terms, making a new anime style motion capture avatar to show during my streams) While I was adjusting the base model I realised the facial expression of the avatar is... rather seductive. Although it was mimicking my facial expression, but the avatar looks nicer. So I locked my door and began to masturbate...

After a while I decided I have no time and I started to catch up with the only lecture I haven't watched. Lecture 91. (There was 93 lectures but I went to the final two in person, and 91 is the last e-learning)

After watching, the laptop screen turned dark (video ended), and the dream faded away and I woke.

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Hashtags to sort the dreams (and for me to remember what tags I have used)

room revision

#uni My own bedroom was open for people to come to do revision At very early in the morning, a group of three mbbs students of a higher form came and took some seats. And used the other seats to put their bags and study materials. I was left with one seat for myself, which was the one I was sitting on.

Later another girl came, she belonged to the group too.. She came and sat on my bed since there were no other seats.

I was kinda pissed because this room wasn’t really open for outsiders. I mean they can come but they seemed so rude and arrogant to move and rearrange my chairs to fit their usage when I am also using?

I wanted to get a few chairs back for my own use. I tapped the new girl on her shoulder. I told her don’t sit on my bed and put her stuff everywhere. She looked at me innocently. So I thought maybe I was too rude and so I continued my sentence to say I can help her tidy her stuff and ask her friends to allocate one chair for her to put her stuff on, so that she doesn’t need to use the bed. She thanked me.

So yeah I didn’t ask for the chairs back… it’s my own room…

group revision; motorcycle race

#secschool #arthur (? just a vibe though) Had a group revision session, 4 in a group. Because mutual surveillance was an effective approach to monitor students revision. They would feel ashamed for not working when they see the other three working.

Later on we went to a racecourse competition venue to watch a motorcycle race. I was rooting for one particular motorcycle. It won in the first round, where motorcycles compete against each other. In the second round, it had to compete with cars, so it changed its engine into something more powerful.

It was leading, and sometimes head to head with another car. But towards the near end the driver got too ambitious? Or anxious, that they didn’t brake and drift the motorcycle properly so it slightly crashed. They immediately continued the race but then the driver was too eager to get champion so they just drive wildly. It wasn’t following the racecourse. They took two wrong turns into other routes. They later u-turned and recrossed the finishing line. They got champion.

One person asked me, how come they didn’t follow the route and still got champion? I thought they’d get disqualified. I explained to him the lines on the racecourse are equidistant so even if they took a wrong turn, as long as they drive the same distance by following the lines, it was still valid (now idk if it’s true irl but in the dream this is a very true piece of trivia lmao)

Later our group assembled and we were going to do other tasks. I remembered counting how many groupmates that were newly joining us since we combined groups after assembly

For some reason I was counting the capes which were hanging on a board. One cape means one member.

I counted 16 but I think there’s more. Another guy, probably the group leader (guide) (Arthur vibe but because I was too introverted in the dream I didn’t look up to see who’s face was that), chuckled and said there’s more I looked at the back and there’s more indeed, but my group was walking down and I had to get going so I didn’t count

While I was walking down I was chanting something with my groupmate. It was some sort of onomatopoeia of two syllables. In the dream it meant chiikawa’s capes. But I knew it was just nonsense syllables. It was fun to sing though.

We walked down the stairs. Oh I remembered my groupmates were all rilakkuma. Lmao Anyways we had to stay silent to walk through the corridor, where different people were using the rooms behind those doors, because we were weird and we didn’t want to catch their attention. We held our breath and walked through. The first few doors were fine and they were closed, we can see their silhouettes projecting on the corridor wall though (physics doesn’t make sense), the one closest to the beginning of corridor had devil horns. (the doors were dusty pink fyi). The last door was slightly open. At the last door we saw ny chinese history teacher, wsm, drawing something on the whiteboard. It was an acupuncture diagram of humans. Outside the room on the wall was a fabric board with many oddly organised pins pinning on different acupuncture sites. They were so organised in a way that’s like along very straight lines and diagonals. It reminded me of those schizophrenic “enlightening” art

I told my groupmates to move along faster and head to the toilet at the end of the corridor. They were so slow. Wsm noticed us. He peeked outside the corridor to look at us, his actions were robotic and his very direct and lifeless gaze was eerie. We ran inside the toilet Wsm followed us. I noticed the wsm by the door was still watching us. So there were two copies of wsm.

I yelled and told my groupmates to shut the toilet door. They shut it. But the toilet door was 1/3 shorter in width than the opening of the door, aka there was still 1/3 un-closable part of the door. It’s just shorter !!!!!

Kind of scared and started to panic And then I woke up.

* the corridor reminded me of wellness team ground floor, but horizontally mirrored, so like in the dream I walked downstairs from the motorcycle arena to the floor, and I turned left instead of right to walk the corridor.

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I remembered the dream, but the memory was fading so I tried to recall the whole dream once in my brain, I thought I was jotting down in my log but wasn't, now I woke up and I cannot remember most of it

bonus marks, messaging

#secschool #arthur #ivan Went to hotel with my family. [Something happens I forgot], I had a competition/ presentation against other schoolmates about academic stuff also in the hotel. One of my “competitor”/ “schoolmate” was Bernice. (an irl friend who was pretty smart and went to Cambridge; supported me since way back in F2 when she was F3)

One of the teachers assessing us was Arthur. (hmph I am still angry and guilty) I did the presentation first, and followed by other classmates and then Bernice. I left midway during my presentation

After the whole thing, they announce the marks. I didn't know and didn't bother. Bernice was very excited to bring me the good news that I score like 90% and I got a bonus mark of 40 marks so it made my mark like 350 over 100 marks (yes the calculation doesn't make sense) I find my 90% fair enough since I left midway and I didn't do the last 0.25 part of my presentation I asked how about her, apparently her base score was 100% and she also got bonus mark i forgot it was 40 or 30, but it made her mark like 400 over 100 marks Anyways the average marks other classmates got was like 20 marks (low base mark and Arthur didn't give them any bonus marks) so our marks were ridiculously high, and Bernice and I were number 1 and 2 respectively I glanced at Arthur who was still sitting at the 評判 table, he was smiling in a loving way at me. In the dream I was wondering maybe Arthur liked me a lot and I was pretty happy.

HUHHH >:oooooo

ok second part [something happened in between but can't remember] Morning at home/ dorm/ whatever place with a pantry, with Ivan

I was checking out Arthur's instagram and I initiated a simple conversation on ig (can't recall what it was about) I was very cautious about it since I thought it was my first time actually DMing him so I was pretty polite and stuff but then after I messaged I swiped up and saw I actually had a lot of past conversations with him, and they were like super casual stuff, like I sent a post about different outfits and I asked him which one did he prefer on me. And he'll answer (I didn't look at what he answered when rechecking the convo though)

And then I went to do other chores for a while (I think I went to wash dishes and make breakfast for Ivan and me) I came back seeing a new convo in my phone screen, apparently I sent multiple messages and Arthur replied. Turned out Ivan used my phone to pretend to be me and messaged him wild stuff when I wasn't looking. I forgot the content of the new convo, but it was something out of the blue like, can you be my dog or something, and he was super chill about it and replied yeah lmao

When Ivan saw me noticing the chat, he took my phone and wanted to type more And I got very anxious and embarrassed I was like aaaaaa why did you text him THAT, and I snatched my phone back to send “Sorry it was Ivan, not me”

And later I was chatting with Arthur about other stuff, like I bet you're ENTP, and we discussed that

oops i got distracted and didn't jot down the rest, i forgot what happened next, anyways it felt like a pleasant dream

at last I apologised for something, and then he apologised for “a person chatting with me on instagram” (like he didn't admit the account was his but he “apologised” on behalf of “a user” that contacted me).

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room decoration

#mum Saw a post of a photo of how another med student was decorating his room. Room also had a piano and he put his med stuff on top and make stuff tidier I wanted to try and I told my mum to come and redecorate All she does was to remove my own photo stands and kept all the photo stands of her and my dad on the piano I was annoyed

Getting downstairs leaving home, wait lift with 大媽 neighbour, wait so long, it was full Waited two lift both full We walked the stairs instead I thought I lived on 6/F (like irl) but in the dream i was at 2/F or 3/F, so close to ground floor, should’ve walked the stairs at the beginning.

shopping/ game

#dad Some stall/ booth thing selling clothes. Me Mum and Dad were checking out the clothes. Mum show me a top she found. I said that’s what she bought for me already previously, she said yeah, I just want you to see again Me checking out skirts again (yes cuz irl I haven’t bought any yet aaa). Dad was playing a game at the shop (those “if you purchase from the store you can try this game for x times”). He was just throwing plush toys to a target basket. The sign says can only try 4 times per customer, he obviously has exceeded the limit. I was scared the shopkeeper would be angry, so I told my dad to stop and see the sign. My dad saw the sign and was a bit sorry, but he continued playing because the shopkeeper didn’t stop him. I apologised to the shopkeeper on behalf of my dad, she says it’s okay, and gave dad the “proper bigger plush for the game”. And demonstrated how to play the game properly, but from now on we have a total of 4 chances to play. It was way more difficult now because the bigger plush is heavier and the basket was pretty far. I played once, missed, gave to Dad to try, also missed, we were deciding who’s going next because Dad seemed pretty confident but I don’t think he can throw it in

And I woke up briefly

massage :D

#arthur Fuckkkk !!!

Part 1

Doing a psychological test This one required me to close my eyes and sit He began to massage my abdomen gently down until the pelvic region Exposed my clothes until he can see and touch my hair at either umbilical region or upper part of pubic hair, not sure cuz I closed my eyes I was already pretty horny lol And then we walked to a bed nearby (looks like my irl bed) (actually the room looks like my irl bedroom) And began the psychological test First he told me to get him my id card for verification purposes, I was searching for quite a long time cuz I forgot where I put it but found it He told me to lie down, and I kinda collapsed and 靠左側瞓 because I was too horny and no energy (like that type of no energy after sex, because I was already getting too excited)

And then he unbuttoned my tight black low-rise trousers and unzipped it Omg super super horny (omg wait you were wearing tight black trousers yesterday) Ok by this time I was already breathing heavily And then he told me to close my eyes and lie straight, he would ask some questions and I would answer him by making a circle👌🏻 or fist 🤛🏻 with my right hand And he stroked the hair at my bottom and massage while asking the questions, I forgot exactly what were the questions but they’re more like “would you do [some sort of thing] if [certain scenario] happens?” And “would you rather [A] or [B]” I was already 嬌喘中 at the first few questions, my god And apparently I would answer more truthfully if I got aroused, that’s what the “psychological test” explained

Midway he stopped asking another one I waited a long time there was none But he was still standing in front of me (still dressed normally)

I briefly woke irl because nothing was happening in the dream But I didn’t want the dream to end So I forced myself to return to sleep

Part 2

At a lobby thing. Doing a health checkup. Conducted by him again. I was fully naked. Surrounding me were my mum and some younger relatives/ 表妹, but since they weren’t doing the checkup they were wearing clothes, they didn’t find me weird fully naked though, seemed like a normal thing. The theme of today’s health checkup was woman’s health, so female genitals (I guess the idea came from my osca exam) This time he massaged with a bigger range. From upper abdomen like below my chest, and then slowly making the way down to my waist. Then he located my uterus (superficially over the skin), and the two hands divert again to palpate for my fallopian tube and ovaries (why is this getting academic wtf lololol) Fuckk, so horny, anyways he then moved his hands onto my hip lol Also during the massage he said into my ear “I thought you fell asleep” (because I was very relaxed and closed my eyes during the massage) The general examination part finished, we will wait for a vacant room to proceed to other parts of examination So he 公主抱 me to another place at the lobby (I’m still naked) He put me on a big white bed like those hotel big double bed And I get to watch the TV from the bed while we wait in the lobby He then also got in the bed and lie next to me and we watch tv together Hmmmm idk what he’s wearing, …… maybe only a pair of boxers Omg And then my mum followed and sat on a stool by the bed, on Arthur’s side of bed I whispered to Arthur’s ear saying I don’t want her to follow us later… Arthur immediately started a convo with my mum saying like later the area would be rather hectic and loud because the kids would be coming, so she could wait outside meanwhile we proceed with the examination. I glanced at the clock shown in the TV screen, it was around 6:40pm? The children from a nearby kindergarten would use the lobby at 7pm every day. My mum agreed, “yeah! [xxx idk what name] kindergarten right!” Arthur said yep Mum moved to sit on the bed, but in front of us (like in front of our feet, sitting by the bed)

Meanwhile I was just fantasising the next part of examination, which was something like cervical examination and he’ll put his finger in and masturbate for me, I was imagining if I’ll get all wet and all onto his hand

Bruh and I was trying to sleep and make the dream continue but apparently the TV show just started and I needed to wait for the TV show to finish for the dream to proceed, but the show was stuck at that same screen

Aaaaaaaaa >:000 still nothing happened so I woke up

Fuck! So horny Maybe because yesterday I found him slimmer (probably because he was indeed sick or maybe he actually started keeping fit) and his jawline was prettier bruh I kept looking at his chin Eyes also very pretty Oh my god outfit also pretty Can’t get angry and scold at this pretty face Fuck so cute Got him super west face on the bus though, felt nostalgic and familiar… F2 classmistress also put on this type of face… Next time I will lie on the couch instead, damn…

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Photos & timeline

#arthur Had a dream where Arthur wants to know more about me but couldn’t find much info and pics of me on google photo search, so he asked me (in text form) to provide him with more photos of the younger me (in his sentence he wrote the word shit twice but not with a derogatory meaning at all) (Irl: Idk if I listened correctly but I think one time he said What the fuck) (lol) (idk not sure) (but I'm amused I find it funny) And in the dream I was planning to compile a timeline of my “history” as if I’m writing a portfolio (which included random stuff I never talked about as they don’t seem relevant to therapy … like mum buying minecraft java (pc) edition for me as a reward for completing my interview for secondary school, and I don’t need to play on my pirated bedrock (phone) edition anymore; and starting a public minecraft server with 20 concurrent players and the user limit of the server is 20 so basically it’s full and I am proud of it and I think it is worthy enough to be put into a hobbyist portfolio lmao)

… so random Maybe it’s because I signed up for some free website building page and I’m making something similar lmfao (btw this page is also one of those random free page thingy- but I’m quite confused cuz in their homepage, I believe this is a paid service- but I’m using all the premium features for free Maybe my user acc is glitched, let’s see how long I can use this website for) (the other reason I signed up is to occupy this “/dream” webpage) The bad thing about this compared to google docs is that readers cant annotate on any specific sentences (hmm can they comment at all??), nor the ability to search for words? I can add labels/ hashtags though. It’s less intuitive than google docs, but theres no storage limit (I hope); and it looks cute (I customised the background and all sorts of decorations!! (coughs I stole most of the codes coughs not my original work)

5G network

The day before today, I dreamt that everyone had 5G network on their phones but I was running on 2G bruh (Oh after I woke up I was fiddling around with my apple watch settings and I finally activated my esim) (Maybe the dream is due to me searching for the function in the cmhk mobile app in the past few days- and I browsed through every data plan out of curiosity) (this is how I waste time every day – e.g. I had to check out the entire shop catalog before ordering stuff… I was browsing for phone cases in a taobao shop… Im pretty sure they are resellers cuz they had 760+ cases- and I browsed through all of them and I didn’t like any lmao, so my time was wasted)

Btw the only constructive thing I did yesterday was watering my plant. Today my parents went Shenzhen (it’s a Sunday). Yet I spent hours of my precious “me time”… crying and curling in my bed, kinda useless I realised I can cry better if I deliberately try to make “sad sounds/ crying sounds”?? Like 嗚嗚… and I will be able to cry

But I don't know why I am crying. And I don’t know why I want to harm myself (I realised I want to make marks on myself because that makes me “customised”- like I’m creating “me” instead of completely being someone else’s commodity. And this process is solely based on my decision instead of others.) (Drawings doesn’t work anymore because they are virtual and fake and not the actual me) (But there should be a lot of ways to “create” myself (although I don’t know what options I have lol), I don’t know why I ended choosing this)

I hid my tools and journals in a zipped up treasure bag this week, so far it’s working but I feel like part of “me” is gone

Kind of shitty cuz I’m scared of bleeding, and from the clinical skills session where I learnt how to draw blood, the veins are actually really superficial so yeah bruh Technically it’s not self harming cuz I never bled Gah i feel so bad because a really nice primary school teacher told our class not to do those things during our last day before graduation, and we nodded our heads. I feel like if I self harm I couldn’t keep this “promise” (even though it wasn’t a promise at first place). I feel like I’m letting a lot of people down. I didn’t improve. I don’t even know what I am feeling. Back then in the sexual health booth, I don’t even know how to feel/ respond to the fabricated scenario. All I know is to see how others respond and copy their reactions, but I never had an “original” respond.

I should stop rambling on- this is a dream log

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